Empty Life

daniel-jensen-763633-unsplashPhoto by Daniel Jensen on Unsplash

Empty life, gambling urges, coming on strong
Yes, I give up, I give in, your stronger than me
I cannot resist, this urge I have to feed
There I have done it, I have gambled, I have lost once again
Why dose it feel so wonderful to be back here again
What’s the psychology of this disease
Where I find no peace, nor contentment until I deplete my finances
I will struggle over the next few weeks, all my own fault of course
Don’t you Pity me, don’t you do that
My choice’s, decisions by my own hand
You can never win, at the casino’s, take my word
No matter how inviting it looks on the screen, and the possibilities they offer to entice
Don’t you be drawn int that abyss of misery, worry tension and concern
Cause that’s where it is leading, when will we ever learn
A very temporary release from life’s distress, disappointment, bewilderment, and frustrations
But they will still be here tomorrow, but you like I, will have a lighter wallet
While those on the other side, will laugh, smirk and live it up, at your expense.

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Gambling 2.

Gambling 2.

I’ve Done It, I’ve Fallen, I’ve Failed Once Again
When In The Name Of God Is This Gonna End
I Promised, I Said No, Not Ever Again
Yet Once More I ’ve Crossed Over That Line Once Again

Well I Ever Get Sense, Or Is It Something More
Should I Seek Help To Sort Myself Out
Or Pretend Nothing’s Happening, Carry On Same As Before
Shut That Door, What’s Done In Private, Who’s Gonna Know
I Won’t Be Telling, I’ve More Sense Than That

But This Still Ain’t Right, This Carry On
I Know Deep Down That There Is Something Wrong
But Is Writing Here In A Poem, Gonna Give Me The Solution I’m Searching For
What Can I Do To Make It Come Right, This God I Ask, Give Me Some Insight

I Know Full Well What I Gotta Do
But I’m Enjoying Too Much, To Stop Doing It So Soon
It Reward’s And Please’s  Me, Deep In My Soul
But At The End Of The Day, It’s Only Myself I’m Foolin
I may drool as play, but now my anger is coming to the fore
How many more times will I promise, no more, no more

An empty promise I know I cannot keep, will this drive me to find the help I should seek
I saw a black cat today, who crossed my path, in my mind I was saying
You see that, an omen, a sign, you take that on board
Today’s your day son, it’s going come right
And of course it did not, another loss, more despair I can’t afford
Is there any point asking you Lord, why are you giving me such a cross to bear

I know wha the answer is, what I gotta do, whether I will do it or not, remains to be seen.