ALCOHOL FREE.
ALCOHOL FREE, IS THIS REALLY FOR ME
CAN I STICK IT OUT. TRULY I HAVE MY DOUBTS.
ITS EARLY DAYS, BUT I’M COUNTING, WATCHING THE MINUTES AND HOURS, SLOWLY TICK BY
IT’LL GET BETTER THEY SAY, BUT I ACHE AND DREAM ABOUT A DRINK, MOST DAYS
IT’S A STRUGGLE I MUST ADMIT, AS I SIT AND CONTEMPLATE MY LIFE
IT’S BEEN A LONG SEVEN DAYS, SECOND ATTEMPT, FAILED LAST TIME AT DAY ELEVEN
WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THE YOUNG LOOKING SKIN AND CLEAR EYES
OR IS THAT A FALSE PROMISE, AND JUST YOUR LIES
THESE WEEKLY PHOTOS I’M TAKING BETTER SHOW MUCH PROGRESS IN MY AGE REVERSAL
OR PRETTY SOON, IMPATIENCE AND FRUSTRATION SHALL WIN OUT
THEN THEIR WILL BE NO MORE SITTING ON THE FENCE, ALCOHOL FREE, NOT FOR ME
AT LEAST THAT PAIN I WAS GETTING AROUND THE LIVER IS GOING AWAY
I DON’T WAKE AT NIGHT WITH A RACING HEART, WONDERING IF I SHOULD VISIT THE HOSPITAL
I HAVE MANY EXCUSES TO DRINK. HOW ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE WAY THE ARE
FRUSTRATION AT LIFE, CAREER NOT GOING YOUR WAY. LOVE A BARREN HORIZON
THROW IN A PANDEMIC. WHAT MORE OF A REASON DO YOU NEED
BUT A DRINKING SESSION IS ONLY A VERY TEMPORARY RELIEF, FOLLOWED BY DEPRESSION ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN, AND ANXIETY FOR THE FUTURE UNSEEN, AND FEELING SO PHYSICALLY UNWELL
IT’S NOW AT LEAST THREE DAYS BEFORE I’M BACK ON MY FEET. A LOT TO DO WITH AGE, OF COURSE
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I COULD BOUNCE BACK, BUT NOW NOT SO MUCH
FILL YOUR BODY WITH A REGISTERED POISON, AND CARCINOGENIC, YOU’VE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME
DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN YOUR BODY SAYS HEY FOOL, WE’RE LEAVING ALL THIS ABUSE. GOODBYE TO YOU
WHAT IS IT THAT ALCOHOL GIVES TO ME ? A CHANGE OF MY MENTAL STATE. A NUMBING OF MY FEELING STATE, AND AIN’T THAT REALLY GREAT
A TEMPORARY REPRIEVE OF ALL THAT CAUSE ME TO SEETH, WITH ANGER AND FRUSTRATION YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE
CALMS MY MIND FOR AN HOUR OR TWO, UNTIL LIKE SOME WILD HURRICANE, THESE FORCES ARE AGAIN UNLEASHED DOUBLED UP AND MORE CRUEL TOO
DON’T LIKE THE WAY I THINK. DON’T LIKE THE WAY I FEEL, WITH ALCOHOL ONBOARD
BUT DRINK IS PART OF THE CULTURE, IT’S WHAT A MAN MUST DO
ALCOHOL BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER, ENCOURAGES A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND TOGETHERNESS IN A JOB, IN A TEAM. WE’RE ALL IN THIS ALTOGETHER, KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OR SO WE’RE LED TO BELIEVE
BY THE POWERFUL MARKETING DEPARTMENTS OF GLOBAL ALCOHOL CORPORATIONS WORLDWIDE
HAVE WE ALL BEING HOODWINKED, AND TAKEN FOR RIDE / FOOLS
A CELERATION, A SADNESS. TOO BUSY, MAYBE BORED, WHY HERE ARE SOME TOOLS YOU CAN USE
THEIRS BEER TO BRING GOOD CHEER. SPIRITS TO COMMISERATE A LOSS
WINE TO HELP YOU COPE, NOW THAT THESE CHILDREN ARE IN BED
NEED TO BE MORE SOCIAL, WHY NOT TRY A COCKTAIL OR TWO
YOU TOO CAN BE SOPHISTICATED AND CHARMING, AND HAVE LOVERS CHASING AFTER YOU
JUST LIKE WE SEE IN THE MOVIES AND THE ADVERTS TOO
WANT TO BE A TOUGH GUY, HAVE A DRINK OR TWO
I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THOSE DAM TEETOTALERS, SO CHRISTIAN AND GODLIKE
HOW BORING CAN THAT BE, ADRIFT IN A SEA OF SOBRIETY
WHAT ABOUT YOUR WILD SPIRIT, AND A QUEST TO BE FREE
DO I WANT TO LIVE THAT BORING LIFE, ALL GOODY TWO SHOES, AND NEVER STEPPING OUT OF LINE
WHILE THAT MAY BE FINE FOR OTHERS, DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO MAKE SUCH A LIFE MINE
THERE SEEMS MORE DOWNSIDES THAN UPSIDES DRINKING NOW
HEALTH WORRIES, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY. ACTIONS TAKEN AND LATER REGRETTED
PROMISES MADE TO MYSELF AND NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH ON
HIDING FROM LIFE AND WHAT I TRULY FEEL. EMOTIONAL MATURITY STILL AT AGE 15
WHEN ALCOHOL FIRST GOT A HOLD OF ME
A WAY TO ESCAPE A HOMELIFE THAT WAS TOO DIFFICULT TO SEE
MY WAY OF HIDING FROM WHAT WAS IN FRONT OF ME
WITH THAT IN THE PAST, DO I NEED TO CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH