Alcohol Free

ALCOHOL FREE.

ALCOHOL FREE, IS THIS REALLY FOR ME

CAN I STICK IT OUT. TRULY I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

ITS EARLY DAYS, BUT I’M COUNTING, WATCHING THE MINUTES AND HOURS, SLOWLY TICK BY

IT’LL GET BETTER THEY SAY, BUT I ACHE AND DREAM ABOUT A DRINK, MOST DAYS

IT’S A STRUGGLE I MUST ADMIT, AS I SIT AND CONTEMPLATE MY LIFE

IT’S BEEN A LONG SEVEN DAYS, SECOND ATTEMPT, FAILED LAST TIME AT DAY ELEVEN

WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THE YOUNG LOOKING SKIN AND CLEAR EYES

OR IS THAT A FALSE PROMISE, AND JUST YOUR LIES

THESE WEEKLY PHOTOS I’M TAKING BETTER SHOW MUCH PROGRESS IN MY AGE REVERSAL

OR PRETTY SOON, IMPATIENCE AND FRUSTRATION SHALL WIN OUT

THEN THEIR WILL BE NO MORE SITTING ON THE FENCE, ALCOHOL FREE, NOT FOR ME 

AT LEAST THAT PAIN I WAS GETTING AROUND THE LIVER IS GOING AWAY

I DON’T WAKE AT NIGHT WITH A RACING HEART, WONDERING IF I SHOULD VISIT THE HOSPITAL

I HAVE MANY EXCUSES TO DRINK. HOW ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE WAY THE ARE

FRUSTRATION AT LIFE, CAREER NOT GOING YOUR WAY. LOVE A BARREN HORIZON

THROW IN A PANDEMIC. WHAT MORE OF A REASON DO YOU NEED

BUT A DRINKING SESSION IS ONLY A VERY TEMPORARY RELIEF, FOLLOWED BY DEPRESSION ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN, AND ANXIETY FOR THE FUTURE UNSEEN, AND FEELING SO PHYSICALLY UNWELL

IT’S NOW AT LEAST THREE DAYS BEFORE I’M BACK ON MY FEET. A LOT TO DO WITH AGE, OF COURSE

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I COULD BOUNCE BACK, BUT NOW NOT SO MUCH

FILL YOUR BODY WITH A REGISTERED POISON, AND CARCINOGENIC, YOU’VE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME

DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN YOUR BODY SAYS HEY FOOL, WE’RE LEAVING ALL THIS ABUSE. GOODBYE TO YOU 

WHAT IS IT THAT ALCOHOL GIVES TO ME ? A CHANGE OF MY MENTAL STATE. A NUMBING OF MY FEELING STATE, AND AIN’T THAT REALLY GREAT

A TEMPORARY REPRIEVE OF ALL THAT CAUSE ME TO SEETH, WITH ANGER AND FRUSTRATION YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE

CALMS MY MIND FOR AN HOUR OR TWO, UNTIL LIKE SOME WILD HURRICANE, THESE FORCES ARE AGAIN UNLEASHED DOUBLED UP AND MORE CRUEL TOO

DON’T LIKE THE WAY I THINK. DON’T LIKE THE WAY I FEEL, WITH ALCOHOL ONBOARD

BUT DRINK IS PART OF THE CULTURE, IT’S WHAT A MAN MUST DO

ALCOHOL BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER, ENCOURAGES A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND TOGETHERNESS IN A JOB, IN A TEAM. WE’RE ALL IN THIS ALTOGETHER, KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OR SO WE’RE LED TO BELIEVE

BY THE POWERFUL MARKETING DEPARTMENTS OF GLOBAL ALCOHOL CORPORATIONS WORLDWIDE

HAVE WE ALL BEING HOODWINKED, AND TAKEN FOR RIDE / FOOLS

A CELERATION, A SADNESS. TOO BUSY, MAYBE BORED, WHY HERE ARE SOME TOOLS YOU CAN USE

THEIRS BEER TO BRING GOOD CHEER. SPIRITS TO COMMISERATE A LOSS

WINE TO HELP YOU COPE, NOW THAT THESE CHILDREN ARE IN BED

NEED TO BE MORE SOCIAL, WHY NOT TRY A COCKTAIL OR TWO

YOU TOO CAN BE SOPHISTICATED AND CHARMING, AND HAVE LOVERS CHASING AFTER YOU

JUST LIKE WE SEE IN THE MOVIES AND THE ADVERTS TOO

WANT TO BE A TOUGH GUY, HAVE A DRINK OR TWO

I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THOSE DAM TEETOTALERS, SO CHRISTIAN AND GODLIKE 

HOW BORING CAN THAT BE, ADRIFT IN A SEA OF SOBRIETY

WHAT ABOUT YOUR WILD SPIRIT, AND A QUEST TO BE FREE

DO I WANT TO LIVE THAT BORING LIFE, ALL GOODY TWO SHOES, AND NEVER STEPPING OUT OF LINE

WHILE THAT MAY BE FINE FOR OTHERS, DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO MAKE SUCH A LIFE MINE

THERE SEEMS MORE DOWNSIDES THAN UPSIDES DRINKING NOW

HEALTH WORRIES, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY. ACTIONS TAKEN AND LATER REGRETTED

PROMISES MADE TO MYSELF AND NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH ON

HIDING FROM LIFE AND WHAT I TRULY FEEL. EMOTIONAL MATURITY STILL AT AGE 15

WHEN ALCOHOL FIRST GOT A HOLD OF ME

 A WAY TO ESCAPE A HOMELIFE THAT WAS TOO DIFFICULT TO SEE

MY WAY OF HIDING FROM WHAT WAS IN FRONT OF ME

WITH THAT IN THE PAST, DO I NEED TO CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH

Virus Go Away

CORUNA VIRUS

I AM SICK OF THIS, WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN

SLITHERING THROUGH THE WORLD UNSEEN

KILLING SO MANY DAY AFTER DAY

NONE OF SAFE, NONE OF US SURE

IS TODAY THE DAY YOU COME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR

WILL I BE STRUCK DOWN, OR MY LOVED ONES

I CAN SEE THE FEAR IN SOME PEOPLE’S EYES, AS WE PASS EACH OTHER BY

I CAN READ THE QUESTIONS IN THEIR MIND, AM I GOING TO BE THE CAUSE OF THEIR DEMISE

I AM FRUSTRATED, NOT DEPRESSED, JUST WAITING LIKE SO MANY OTHERS FOR ALL THIS TO END

THE UNCERTAINTY, THAT FEAR, IS ALL A BIT TOO MUCH TO BEAR

WHERE CAN I FIND SOLACE, HOW CAN I ESCAPE

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY MIND INTO A BETTER PLACE

ALCOHOL USED TO BE A ROUTE, BUT NOW THAT’S OFF THE AGENDA

DEPRESSES YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION SAYS

THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO BE HAPPENING THESE DAYs

I LOOK TO THE SKY AND ASK JESUS WHY

WILL YOU NOT TELL THE SCIENTISTS WHAT TO DO

SO THAT THEY’LL HAVE SOME CLUE

BUT YOU NEVER ANSWER JESUS, DO YOU

I NOW QUESTION THE RELIGION THAT I WAS INGRAINED WITH AS A CHILD

NOT WHAT ONE IS MENT TO DO

I ASK OF THE POPE AND OTHER RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WORLDWIDE, WHAT IS THE ANSWER

WHERE IS YOUR SAVIOUR NOW WHEN HE IS NEEDED. WILL HE NOT COME DOWN FROM UP ABOVE, AND SHOWER HIS CHILDREN WITH LOVE , AND THE KNOWLEDGE TO GET US THROUGH

ANOTHER LOCKDOWN IN PLACE, MORE BOARDROOM AND INACTIVITY

EMPTY STREETS, SILENT DAYS. NOTHING TO FILL OUR TIME

IS A LOCKDOWN NOTHING BUT DEFERRING THE INEVITABLE

FOR WHEN ITS LIFTED, IT WILL BE LIKE GOING BACK IN TIME

TO MORE STATISTICS WE KNOW WILL BE THERE, BUT WE’D RATHER NOT SEE

WITH TRUMP GONE, THERE GOES SOME FUN, WITH HIS MAD, PSYCHOTIC WAYS

AT LEAST HE WAS A DISTRACTION, FROM WHAT WE ALL FACE

PEOPLE’S PLANS ON HOLD. ALL THE WORLD AFFECTED

WHAT CAN WE DO, NO END IN SIGHT

WHO CAN WE BLAME. WHERE CAN WE POINT THE FINGER AND SAY SHAME

IT WAS YOU

IF YOU DIDN’T DO WHAT YOU DONE, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

YET WHO AM I TO SIT IN JUDGEMENT AND CAST ASPERSIONS WIDE

DO I HAVE THE RIGHT, MAYBE NOT, BUT I DO HAVE MY VIEWS ON WHAT BROUGHT US TO HERE

BUT THAT WILL NOT GET US WHERE WE WANT TO BE. JUST LIKE IT WAS  BEFORE WHEN WE WERE FREE

FANCY A WALK, OUT YOU GO. NEED SHOPPING, GO EXPLORE. DYING FOR A BEER, COME ON IN HERE

NOT HOW IT IS NOW

ENFORCED ISOLATION AND UNEMPLOYMENT, UNLESS YOUR AN ESSENTIAL WORKER

CAN THERE BE ANY BENEFIT TO THIS. STAY HOME, DO NOTHING AND GET PAID THE GOVERNMENTS SAY

A BOON AND GOD SEND FOR THOSE LOOKING TO TAKE IT EASY AND OPT OUT OF NORMAL LIFE

PLENTY TIME TO SPEND WITH YOUR CHILDREN OR WIFE

BUILD AND NURTURE THOSES RELATIONSHIPS, PERHAPS YOU DID NOT HAVE TIME FOR, BEFORE

UNTIL BEING AROUND THESE OTHERS TOO MUCH, BECOMES NOTHING BUT A CHORE

THEN YOU WANT TO ESCAPE AND DASH OUT THE DOOR

YEARN FOR THAT FREEDOM TO GET AWAY, AND THEN RETURN MORE CALM AND CENTRED, ON ANOTHER DAY

THE LIFE OF RILEY, OTHERS WOULD SAY

YET AS IT CONTINUES DAY AFTER DAY, MAYBE NOT SO GREAT. 

OK FOR A DAY OR TWO, MUCH LONGER THAN THAT…….

THE FOOD SHOPPING NOW THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK

WHOEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WOULD COME TO THIS

AT LEAST THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND. SOME INTERACTION, SOME FUN

MAKES LIFE SEEM JUST A LITTLE NORMAL

GOTTA DASH NOW, THE SUPERMARKET AWAITS

THE EXCITEMENT BUILDS INSIDE MY MIND

 A CHANGE OF SCENE, FRESH AIR. FOR AN HOUR OR TWO CORONA VIRUS, I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU.