One brief look, at the first few line of a letter left open on the old oak table. That’s all it took.
She hurried from the shadowed kitchen upon hearing the footsteps. The words imprinted deeply in her mind. Not knowing what to do with herself, she went out into the garden, in the early evening sunshine. Unhappy and disturbed there, she ran to her bedroom. Unable to rest there, she decided to go for a run.
She had to do something to bring her body and mind back to some sense of equilibrium. Quickly gathering her running gear,the grey tight fitting t-shirt, and slim fitting leggings. She set off at high-speed down the empty roads of the rural area, overlooking the wheat fields in full bloom. She ran as fast as she was able, and as long as she was able, to the point of near exhaustion. Perspiration building on her forehead, her neck and back. Her breathing loud and hard. It always worked when her mind was unsettled. Her mind and feelings of confusion, anger, sadness and mainly betrayal, slowly began to come into some type of balance.
They had lied. They held back the truth for so long. Exhausted after her long hard run. When her breathing eased she sat against the stone wall, that surrounded the green blossoming field. She usually found peace and solace in the stillness of the isolated rural area, broken only by the soft sounds of the birds chirping. But not this evening. What she had believed for so long, what she had based herself, her life on, was no longer true.
That sense of inner strength and sense of belonging she had gotten from her parents now no longer seemed true. If she could not trust them to be true and honest over such a matter, could she ever trust anyone anymore, ever ? As she sat by that wall, in the quiet summers evening, she could physically feel all her inner strenght and self esteem drain from her, there and then .
It was a very different girl who slowly picked herself up off the ground. The slumped posture, the head held low, the dragging of her feet, told anyone watching all they needed to know. If her real Mother did not want her all those years ago, did this mean she was no good. Unwanted, an encumbrance and waste of space. She slowly and unwillingly made her way back to the house of lies, she had for so long believed was her true home.