Empty

Emptiness
Photo by Peter Lewicki on Unsplash

Empty inside, is this what its like to die
A waking death, nothing more needs to be said
Barren life. Ain’t no strife, ain’t nothing going on
Aching for human company, please someone speak to me
I just can’t go on, this barren path no more
It never changes, this. Such a struggle to be alone
Always it seems on my own
Is their something wrong with me, or just a lack of opportunity
To meet with and interact with others
Could always try volunteer work, although most of those people ain’t right in the head
There seems to be a lot misaligned with them as far as I can see
Lover’s in short supply
Who knows, maybe life will seem better tomorrow
No sounds, no voices, my world is silent
People close by, but they may as well be on a different planet
As they seem so remote to me
Sorrow and self indulgent, perhaps so. But that’s what’s happening here
Of course many people are just not worth the bother
With their idiosyncrasies, and character not to my taste
But in moments of weakness, when the silence becomes unbearable
Is when my standards may lower temporarily
To allow such people in

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Nothing.

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Photo by Mark Eder on Unsplash

I have nothing to say, nothing on my brain
How am I meant to entertain and engage
Those who are kind enough to view what I write, and at times, voice their appreciation
I aint mad, angry or depressed, no toxic people on my case
Nothing of any duress happening in my life
Bit dead on the romantic scene, I must admit
Would love, love, love to meet a suitable partner
To share this life’s journey with, that’s for sure
But the landscape is incredibly barren whenever I step outside the door
I looked, just looked at a woman a few months back, not a stunner, not a beaut
More out of interest I did briefly stare
She actually physically winced, when my glance caught her eye
Just cause you’re a woman, don’t necessarily mean, I want you, let me be clear
I got standards you know, which you gotta meet, or else you aint coming in the door
I watched a pretty woman coming down the street. Our eyes did meet, and she was okay
But I had watched her briefly from afar, shoulder charge some poor fella out of her way
Good looking as she was, that was so off-putting, I turned away from her enticing glance
That’s one dance that would not end well, so I aint even moving in that direction
So there’s nothing really going on, currently.

A lesson.

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Photo by anja. on Unsplash.

She like the others would have to learn the hard way. Some thing in life are acceptable and some are certainly not. Her lifeless body was slumped over the back seat of the car, as it headed towards the remote mountain area. He swore at the car, and its lack of air conditioning, or even a fan. The open windows helping slightly. Perspiration dripped slowly from his forehead, down the sides of his face, and onto his neck. His short sleeved shirt, damp, clammy and uncomfortably sticky. The jeans too dark, and heavy for such weather, increasing his body temperature even further. Cursing himself for his choice of clothing on such a day. He dreamt of a cool refreshing shower, and smiled in anticipation. In the scorching heat, she had to be disposed of reasonably quickly. The bloodied seat should be easy enough to clean. Any passing motorist would just assume she was just another lazy holiday maker enjoying themselves.
A rotting and decaying body, no matter how pretty they are, soon leads to a rank, putrid stench. It was to be the holiday of a lifetime, and in some respects it was, as travel usually is quiet enjoyable. He had her fooled, and with his persuasive, and kind manner. He had hoodwinked her into travelling with him. She had foolishly trusted him. How gullible some women are, because she believed in true love. But he knew from much life experience that many people cannot be trusted at all. That humans can be immensely complex, and at times impossible to figure out. What did she really know of life at such a young age. People’s motivations, there secret desires and resentments. Who is to know the inner working of another.
He had reluctantly accepted it at the time. He had tried to dissuade her, but to little avail. She made a persuasive case for her course of action. Strong minded and belligerent to the last. He soon saw the futility of arguing further.
As he drove high into the mountains, he reflected how, if he was honest with himself, he never truly really loved her. From the first day he met her. Just something about that oh so confident, can we say arrogant manner. Something was off. With her stellar career, well on track. Arrogance, and false confidence borne out of a high flying career, with its financial rewards, and due deference and respect for her position of power within the company.
A forthright, ambitious young woman, who made no secret of her wish to succeed, at whatever price, even to the detriment of others, if need be. What are rules, if not for bending slightly, if necessary, in her view. He should have seen it then, but a lack of human companionship, can drive one to overrule their own inner knowing and wisdom.

A woman who wanted it all. The high flying career, the wealth, the success. The adoration of colleagues, and a more than satisfying sexual life. But all aspects of life carry risk. Disregard for common sense, alcohol, illicit drugs and sheer abandonment can lead to actions of course, that many regret. But what is life if not for enjoying, was her motto.
On the day she went through with it, he did not accompany her, but wished her well. He took time alone by the empty beach to gather his thoughts. He knew he would never forgive her. Regretting now he ever got involved with her, and disregarding their obvious incompatibility from the start. Over the following months, he tried to forgive her. Sought solace from God, and asked for guidance, which in the silence of the church, and the many sleepless nights that followed was not forthcoming.

Within days, she returned from her wicked journey, and soon recovered her joy de verve for life. The evenings in the expensive restaurants soon returned. Business deals had to be concluded successfully, and rapidly. Girlfriends, friends and colleagues had to be entertained and indulged. It was as if it had never happened, and it did not need to happen, but it did. His anger and resentment grew daily, but he hid it well. But it festered within him. No sense of sorrow, little regret on her part. That cavalier uncaring attitude was not what he expected, not wanted in a love partner. He reflected back to his previous marriage and the sudden and early demise of his wife, his first love. He still had to deal with the callous, and uncaring surgeon whom he rightfully blamed for her loss. He would not go free, he had determined. But that was for another time.

The heat from the setting sun was easing somewhat, as the evening grew late. He turned off the dusty road, and parked in a small clearing among the trees. He maneuvered himself out of the sweltering heat of the car’s interior, more than glad for the cooling mountain air. Stood and watched the evening lights sparkle, in the small village way down in the valley, and the ocean beyond. After a brief rest, he opened the rear door and layed her legs down on the ground. Limp and heavy, he pulled at her lifeless body, from the back seat, taking care not to look at her bloodied face, and frozen surprised expression. The body was heavy and uncooperative, so he pulled hard at the still warm legs. The back of her head hit the car door sill, with a sickening thud, bone and cartilage on metal, as he finally wrestled it from the vehicle.
The feeble, yet audible groan was an unwelcome surprize, and he looked again at her body. Little sign of movement. He bent down, and put his ear over her mouth and listened. While at the same time watching for any movement in her chest. If only the damn birds would be quiet perhaps he would have a chance to hear. It was there, a tiny, barely imperceptible weak breath, and very slight, barely visible movement of the chest.

He watched, for a few moments, hovering closely above her stricken body, reached around behind him for a suitable medium to heavy rock. He fumbled and grabbed the awkwardly edged rock in his hand and raised it above his head. He was devoid of emotion. A task had to be completed, quickly and surgically. He brought the implement down hard in an arc towards the general area of her forehead.

‘Why’, was the question she weakly asked, through her briefly opened eyes. The momentum of his movement was unstoppable, and the rock crashed with force onto her forehead. Her eyes closed. He raised it again at speed, and repeated the movement, so many times in succession he lost count. Driven by the force of his anger, and a wish to drive the last vestiges of her living image from his mind, the slab of bone’s in her forehead soon give way to his vigorous exertions. The soft brain tissue easily absorbing  the repeated strikes of the weapon. Blood streamed copiously around her eyes and down her once pretty face. A macabre mascara, befitting of such an evil human. At least it hid to some extent her torn and pulverized reddened skin, a slight benefit. Sickened and ashamed of his own uncontrollable violence and anger, he fell to his knees and called aloud to God for forgiveness. When God refused to answer with either condemnation nor praise, in his warped mind, he persuaded himself that this was indeed a sign he was doing God’s work, and a place would no doubt be set aside for him in heaven.  Exhausted and spent after a few moments, panting heavily, the perspiration again dripping from his forehead, down his face.
Again, he hovered closely over her body, watching and listening for signs of life. Satisfied there were none, he dropped the bloodied rock from his hand, and sat triumphant and vindicated, at a nearby tree. He breathing slowly began to subside from his exertions, as again he vision focused on the sparkling lights, and the ocean far beyond in the valley below. So inviting. So welcoming.

Written in response to a writing prompt seen here : https://creativewriting.ie/writing-prompts/

Love.

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Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

Are you searching for love , just like me
But wherever you look, you just cannot see, someone who might fit the bill completely
What I find, are people whom I don’t mind, but would rather not become entwined with
Where’s my soulmate, my lover to be, it’s like searching the ocean for something I cannot see
Occasionally do come across a possible candidate, who may fill the role
But it’s so unexpected I’m caught on the hop, an electric shock, that we both feel
Stuck for words to invite and entice
Where are my seduction skills, my comfort, my making a connection skills
A fleeting glance, a seduction dance, would you like to come home with me
Where’s all this law of attraction, or even magick and witchcraft, trying all sorts but aint getting any traction
It aint a one night stand I’m hunting for, it’s love and comfort, kindness and more

I had a situation the other day, a lady of distinction looked my way
So taken aback was I, could not hold her eye
Prettiness like you ain’t never seen, but she was quiet taken by me
Aint too sure why, I aint no Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or some such guy
But I’m alright looking I suppose
I’m soo used to girls not giving a toss, I may as well be invisible to them
So I’m at a loss to understand all this
So anyways I approached and began to chat, she was selling whatever at some stall in the shopping centre mall
But so out of practice was I, my confidence and chatter, was not stellar, and that aint no lie
It did not help that she was Eastern European, who are not known for their warmth and friendliness, and could be construed as kinda mean, and somewhat unfriendly
The chat was functional, brief and to the point, but I did not meet the requirements of what she wanted
So I wandered off, but man, she was hot, and I wanted her, to be in love with me
What was missing from her, was warmth and engagement, that had me heading for the door
Then I read and considered, that coldness and frosteness, is the norm, ( In Eastern Europe) and perhaps she was quiet shy, with limited social skills
But man, trying to chat up a shy person, is draining, is depressing, like drawing blood from a stone, I was getting exhausted on all levels, just trying

I was not going  to let this bird go, as I fancied way too much, for that to be so
So a few days later, in the sopping centre I found myself again, after having practised and imagined my chat within,  hoping against hope, she still be there
Low and behold she was, in her beauty and prettiness, a vision to behold
I had it all planned in my head, how I’d interact with her
How it was going to be
But in my imagining I had nt anticipated the fella at the stand who wanted to speak to me
As I made my way, towards my love to be, he pushed himself forward, and hijacked me
This is not how I had planed it was going to be
As he spouted on about the benefits of the product he was trying to sell
Out of politeness I just listened well, but I could not shake him, the dirty c…
Which I wanted to soo much to do, I had zero interest in the products on sale
It was just that bird I was after, that is all I’m sayin
Eventually I made it clear to him, trying to sign me up for such products, was nothing more than a sin
His attitude quickly changed, from ‘Yes Sir / No Sir’, to ‘Alright mate, Yeah mate’, when he saw he could not draw me in
I noted that within my mind, to be ever mindful, of how people can quickly change when they can see, you int an easy mark, who can be drained
But anyways back to this bird and me, as I was leaving I approached her, see
At the time she was trying to entice and sell, to the passing consumers
My words were rapid, interview style. Not the best way to engage a female, I Know, iI know
But time was short , the pressure was on, but her answers were so functional, and business like, it just wasnt on
So I left and considered my position, did she fancy me or not, and decided the latter
After a nights sleep, and much searching on YouTube, I concluded she was perhaps shy, and lacking social skills. Add eastern European to that, and make of that what you will

So the next day again, to the shopping center I ventured, and sat nearby in Starbucks, hoping against hope she’d pass by
It would be way too awakard for me to approach the stand again, it would just be way too awardard

She did not appear, like I had imagined she would
I walked the promade, by the sea, hoping she be their
But it was not to be
I had to take to my bed, with depression and remorse
Sorrow and grief, that had to be experienced to be believed
Now at this stage I am asking what do I got to do, to make this be
I’m looking at the Sedona method, EFT, you name it
Sigils, affirmations, I am that really desperate
But that’s how it is, see
I’ll make no bones, I want to be in love
For her to be in love with me, harmony , peace and tranquility
Happiness, joy, comfort and companionship
That’s what I’m after, for t]both of us

I’m seriously hoping to meet her again, in a more better situation
Where it will flow right, much to my delight
Well I’ll just have to see what happens, weather that will ever be.

Torture.

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Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Is life torture to you, and you just don’t know what to do
Do you wish it was over now, just wishing for the end
Is everything what you wanted not coming true
The love of your life not appearing
That career, you aint even sure of, not showing up
The wealth you dreamed of, seems such an impossible dream
Your aspirations to enhance the lives of others, seem empty futile, even obscene

Where is it all gone wrong, the people you meet daily, not want you want to see
They are the damn opposite of what you see in your dreams
Where’s that compatible partner, why just can’t they appear
You know, just like magick
That career you hanker after, how come it just disappears
Where’s the end to this, God alone knows
Where are the people you expect to show up, as you did for them
With their care, their consideration, or is that an empty dream
You were there for them, but now they ain’t nowhere to be seen
Make’s one question deeply, are some friendships what they purport to be

Is your body up the creek, with no end in sight
No healing miracles, about to come your way, and put things right
It’s stuff like this, that at times make’s it hard to carry on
With no brightness ahead, it all looks rather……trying
It’s at times like this, pleasure is in short supply
With a negative outlook, you might think abut dying
Many, many days like this, and life can seem like torture, and I ain’t lying

Have you got someone in your life saying, you don’t matter, you hardly exist
What’s going on with you, is of little and no concern
But yet they watch and analyse every move you make
Give there view on your preconceived mistakes, do they not believe in live and let live
Why can they not live their own lives, instead of living your life for you
Instead they find fault with all that you do, they that have little, to non existent respect

Why don’t you just hide away, until I discern you may be worth interacting with
But only to bring you down, as I lift myself up, and watch you squirm
Once again you’ve fallen for my my false sense of love and concern
But I care nothing for you, when will you ever learn
You are nothing to me, but a psychological punchbag, on whom I can let free
Destroy, and tear down, with words that cut to the core
Words that will reverberate for evermore within your mind
Even when I’m gone from this world, my words will destroy and control you
From beyond the grave
You got people like this in your life, throw them out, before they take your soul, your spirit, your life
Take my word, you see people like this, close to you. Shut them down, cut them out
This is what you must do. This is what you must do

Watching trough the window, another sunny day, another lovely day
Blue skies, and fluffy clouds, birds high in the sky
As you sit alone in your house, contemplating the benefits should you die
Maybe I may change my mind, another Netflix movie, foreign language perhaps
Engage my mind fully. Proper diet, positive views, you know, like you should do
Maybe life won’t seem so bad. Gotto keep bouncing back
Sure we’ll see what we can do. If it all seems worth it…..

 

 

Really ? (Part 1)

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Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Simplify

‘ Do you really need it ? Is one not enough. There are so many televisions you can watch. So many cars you can drive at any one time. Only so many clothes and shoes you can actually wear, at any one time ‘.
It was the beginnings of yet another shouting match. She was just about adept at understanding the accent. Another draining, exhausting,  no win all out argument. Just one more reason to hate and detest her. Just one more reason to run as far away as was humanly possible. She knew it was pointless to argue. For no matter what she said, it would as usual be twisted, and turned, into words and meanings that were not true, or even uttered, in the slightest.

‘ You do know of course, your Grand Father will never stand for it. I will certainly tell him. He will ground you for at least two weeks. I’m sure of it. I’ll make damn sure he does ‘.
She marched off at speed, the high heels clattering, throughout the glass and marbled temple, that was masquerading as a shopping mall. Glamorous handbag, gripped tightly under her arm.

She had no choice but to follow. Her head low. Staring at the floor. Wishing by some miracle it would swallow her up. Hoping against hope, that none of her school friends had witnessed yet another of the skirmishes she had with her new step mother. People nearby had noticed. Stopped and stared. Slightly shaken by the loud, overly loud foreign voice. Discretion not one of her traits. Being center of attention. Now that she enjoyed. She was hard to miss. An incredibly elegant walk. Striking blond hair. Clear, yet perfect skin. Light grey, clear, healthy eys. Cat like. A proud posture, made her stand out wherever she went. It’s how they were brought up in the Ukraine. To be a proud people. Whether they were rich or poor. Even if it was very embarrassing for her step daughter. She didn’t care. Didn’t even like her. She was only an impossible encumbrance. Taking her newly found husbands attention, and funds away from her.
She needed those funds. Her overly large family and various relatives back home, in the mainly poverty stricken streets of that small village in the Ukraine, badly needed her assistance. She was glamorous beyond a doubt. As many women from that part of the world are. Tall, slim, and very pretty. High cheekbones. Knowing how to dress to impress the foolish Western men who came looking for Russian brides. They may not have being considered wealthy men by Western European standards. But to the improvised females in the Ukraine, they were, in comparison, millionaires of great stature. The competition to capture one of these men was intense. Bitchiness ruled among the contending women. It did not reached the stage of hair pulling and female wrestling. But came more than close of more than a few occasions. Only for the intervention of the interpreters and tour reps, the assembled group of women would have looked quiet differently, when they meet the coachload of possible husbands, at the nightclub, that early Saturday evening.

He of course was too old, by far. Wrinkled forehead and skin. A tanned and leathery face, and not just because of all those days outside in the Californian sunshine. He dressed way too young for his age. All in black. Large gold cross dangling from his chicken like neck on a chain. Like an older, but more tanned version of Johnny Cash, the country singer, who could not really sing at all. He quiet possibly would have being a cause of much mirth and laughter, back home. But here in the Ukraine, he was out to impress. To capture a striking woman’s heart, and take her back to America, and make her his wife. He had the funds. The big house. The successful business. The only slight barrier, may be his grand daughter, whom he was forced, well coerced to look after. It was written into her will before she died. If he wanted ownership of the vineyard, which he did. He had to agree to look after his grand daughter, until she was twenty one years old, and to set her up financially for life. He knew that had he reneged on that signed agreement. That her Rottweiler of a lawyer would see to it, he would loses the vineyard, and all the wealth associated with it.  The vineyard that had being in her family for generations, since her grandparents arrived from Italy all those years ago, now. It was too healthy a business to let go.
Had any back home known he was here in the Ukraine on a wife hunting mission. How they would have laughed. Well perhaps behind his back. Why Ukraine, why now. He had tired of American, Western women, and there insatiable never ending demands. Outspoken, career driven women. Women with attitudes and strong views, he could well do without. What he wanted was a poverty stricken, desperate, stunning woman, to become his wife. Quiet and submissive. An easy life into his old age. That’s what he came searching for. He stood out from the other misfits, or should I say travelers. Appearing halfway normal. Confident, and well travelled.
By and large the rest of the group were sad and comical in the extreme. Socially inadequate and awkward.  The tour guides and interpreters happy to take their money. Secretly laughing at their desperation. Their failure to meet a woman by normal means. Rather meeting there possible prospective wives at what amounted to cattle calls in the local nightclubs of the towns and villages they visited. As they perused the females paraded in front of them. As if viewing possible purchases at an animal market in the west. It was excruciating, embarrassing, and cringe making for the women. Not so much for the men. For they could not see it for what it was.

It was eight months since she had arrived in America, and settled into her position at the ranch. She attended to her wifely duties, with obvious distaste, with the wretched elderly man she called her husband. A price she was willing to pay, for a short time. She slipped easily into the position of the wealthy wife. Something she believed she was born for. The shopping sprees. The lavish dinners. The constant sunshine. The new found friends. Such a lifetime, a world away from her previous life. America was turning out just as she had always dreamed and wished for, aside that is from, that annoying young grand daughter.
She was not of course in love with him. It was for both a marriage of convenience. Both got what they wanted.

He wasn’t really fond of his grand daughter, Chloe. She was his ticket to a comfortable life. All he had to do was look after her and see she was financially set. When they did speak, which was not that often, he struggled to be civil. She was an unwanted, but necessary milestone around his neck. He encouraged her to study at a University far away. She had expressed an interest in the law, and he encouraged her interest. Anything to get her away from the ranch. He did not need an interfering family member getting any idea of what he was planning.
Chloe had often watched them from afar as they walked together, arm in arm, examining the vine in the comfortable heat. She in that light colored dress she worn to please him. He dressed as usual in the slightly worn cream colored shirt and khaki and light grey sunhat. She never took to her, from the day she arrived. An interloper, an outsider. A damn foreigner, from a country she did not even know.
As they walked around the vineyard. Tatiana  had plans for the future. Which did not include her aging mealticket, well husband. But her husband also had plans. Being fickle. His tastes and desires changed fairly quickly. He had fulfilled his desire for a pretty eastern European wife, but had now began to tire of her. Her lavish spending, which was a price he was willing to pay initially. His inability to hold a intellectual conversation with a woman who could not be bothered to improve her language skills. That was frustrating in the extreme. Tatiana preferring the social company of others, similar to her. Some would call them foreign gold diggers. Out for a better, more abundant life in America. Those who spoke her own language, when they met, and laughed at the foolishness of the American men who believed they had purchased a foreign wife, like one purchases a commodity.
The physical manifestations of her violent anger, that he had seen and come to dread, when he refused one of her many ongoing requests. She was turning into a liability, and an expensive one at that. Her increasing vitriolic demands that he sponsor and pay for some of her aging relatives to America. Of course looking back he should have listened to his lawyer, who cautioned against rushing into marriage. Especially without the benefit of a pre nuptial agreement. But in his fear, lust and excitement, Alex ran headlong into a marriage he believed would last through to the end of his days. Of course he should have invested her background more thoroughly. Learned more about her, and her sleazy relatives. Had he known…..

He had come to resent her withholding sexual affection, well any affection whatsoever. To compound it all, he had employed that quiet, brooding Mexican, as a ranch hand, at Tatina’s request, and cajoling. He was the complete opposite of Alex. Young, muscular, dark skinned. Black slicked back hair. Alex referred to him, as a slime ball in his own mind. He had the aura of un-trustworthiness, and dis-honesty about him. Not to mention, a seething violence surrounding him. Unspoken, but tangible, palatable. He was beginning to be suspicious of a burgeoning affair between the Mexican ranch hand and his Russian wife. His life was slowly becoming a war zone. Aside from the now infrequent times when he and his wife got along. She of course only being nice to him, to gain whatever happened to be her wishes at the time. A brief interlude, from there ongoing increasingly bitter war. She was beginning to turn out as predicted by the few friends he had told, about how they had met. A self seeking, selfish, manipulative woman. Temperamental, and abusive in the extreme, and untrustworthy. Using her beauty to manipulate and use other’s for her own ends.

He was trapped like an animal. A possible looming expensive divorce on the horizon. Possibly the loss of the ranch. He knew she would never file for divorce, but could see her plan. To make their marriage and his life intolerable, so eventually he would file for divorce, and she would reap the financial rewards. With a smart lawyer to portray her as the simple, innocent victim, from a foreign land. Easy,… right.
Sickened by all unpleasantness, he went to the ranch stable, in the early morning sunshine and ordered the young Spanish boy working their to saddle up his horse. It was one of the few pleasures he now enjoyed. Where he could ride in freedom. Clear his mind. The young boy helped the old man onto the horse, and led him out of the stables. The slime ball Mexican smiled as he watched, from the darkness of the stables. The horse carried Alex away. He gently took the horse out among the fields, and from then into the sparely wooded area, by the lake. It was his favorite place. The lake. Quiet, peaceful and reflective. He sat by the lake for approx an hour, listening to the silence. Finding some peace of mind, before he prepared to return to the war zone, as he now referred to his marriage.
He untied his horse from the tree, and led it to some nearby rocks, so as to mount it. Grabbing the saddle with one hand, he put in boot the strippup and pulled himself up. At the same time he fell backwards as the leather saddle came loose from the horse. The crunching sound as his head hit the moss covered rocks, ricocheted around the empty woodland.

( Part 2 ).
At the ranch, Tataina was becoming increasingly impatient. She marched up and down the outside patio, in the late morning sunshine. Her high heals clanking loudly on the Italian tiles. Deeply inhaling on her cigarette. Her face twisted in a demented scowl. No more the pretty woman. She needed him to show up now. She did not have time to waste.

At last. She exhaled strongly.

‘Well, did you do it, is it done ?’
‘No, I did not do, and yes it is done’.
‘What do you mean ?’, the irritation evident in her harsh voice.

She did not have time to play games. This was business. This was freedom.

‘I followed him this morning when he went to the stables, and was looking for an opportunity, any opportunity. Slight perspiration formed on his forehead. He too inhaled deeply on the newly lit cigarette. ‘As I waited, she came in’. He glanced at the framed photo that hung on the wall. Her eye’s followed his to the photo,’ and cut through one of the saddle straps almost completely. Enough to ensure it would soon fail with some heavy riding. She then slipped away’.

She smiled. Now she had a hold over her. A way to blackmail her, or report her. In any case, she now had a method to either get rid of her, or keep her quiet for evermore. To add to her joy, they watched as his horse sauntered through the ranch gates, minus the saddle. The stable boy ran to the perspiring horse and patted its nose and shoulders, glanced at the couple on the patio and smiled. He led the horse back to the stable, and patted the $100 in his pocket, he had been given to look the other way.
Chloe lay on her bed in her room, and waited for news. Any news. Preferably bad. She knew it would not take that long for him to be missed and searched for. Hopefully she had done enough. If not she would certainly try again. He had, and was going to pay. Maybe his wealth and connections had allowed him to escape justice in the past. But she would see to it, he would be made to pay the price.
The loud knock on the door startled her. She quickly opened the door to be met by a surprisingly smiling Tatina.

‘Well, well well, ain’t you full of surprises’. The voice strong, triumphant and victorious.
‘What do you mean’.
‘What I mean is that you were seen this morning in the stables, shall we say ‘adjusting’ your grandfathers saddle. Now he’s nowhere to be seen. Possibly laying injured, or dying out there somewhere’, gesturing towards the thousands of acres of land they owned.
‘I don’t know what you are talking about. I’ve been in here all morning’.
‘You were seen. We know what you did, and I have yet to decide what to do with that knowledge. But whatever I choose to do. You are now mine. I control your future. Whether that be in prison, or elsewhere. It’s whatever I decide to do with you’.

With that she slammed the door, and glided downstairs triumphantly.

Chloe layed back onto her bed. Her initial fantasizing oh him meeting his maker, now perhaps not the best result she could hope for. Her body drained of energy, she lay on the bed, and considered her future. If she now had a future to speak of.  Whatever that would now be.

Tantanina was on the porch, defilty playing the dramatically traumatized wife.

‘ We must send out a search party. We must ‘. Played with enough gusto to persuade the watching ranch hands, and her kitchen staff, that she was indeed, the caring, worried , and loving wife. A search party, consisting of men on horseback and some in pickups, heading out the ranch gate at speed, to the different corners of the vast expanse of land the ranch covered. Those on horseback headed towards the lake, knowing his favoured spot. It did not take long for him to be found. Still unconscious and by now straing to breath. A pick was summoned and he was quickly taken aboard, and back to the ranch.

Tataina tried her best to portray her happiness and joy at her husband been found alive, and called for an ambulance. which duly arrived and transported the still unconscious husband to hospital.
( to be continued..)

The Patrolman.

dean-faulkner-513157

Photo by DEAN FAULKNER on Unsplash

Permit

He lent in through the open window, using the license, the power of his position.

‘ You show me what you got, little lady ‘.

He was reasonably young, strongly tanned, and a well developed but slim body. He looked powerful, and had that walk of authority, that walk of power. Thats what the job gave him. She so wished he would take of his dark sunglasses. To see his eyes, to gauge his intentions. Were his eyes soft and kind, or hard and mean. It was always one of the first indicators she used when interacting with someone new. She glanced at the large cream coloured motorcycle, with the helmet unsteadily perched on handle bars. His black uniform, adding to his seriousness and sense of power. The leather polished boots, and accruments of his position.

She was unsure, but hoped it was just a look at her license he was after and nothing more. The last thing she wanted was another confrontation. There was only so many she could take in a day.
She was going to leave him, that’s what she had decided. No more nonsense, no more being the scapegoat. No more fear, no more violence. It was the wrong relationship from the start, and she knew it. But out of loneliness, and her anxiety about her rapidly passing fertile years, it was a last grasp at Motherhood, and the children she yearned for. But not with him. Not now. The long drive on the open road, an opportunity to clear her head.

The crashing of metal upon metal, grating on her nerves. The Patrolman rolled forward at speed, at the impact. She took a sudden intake of breath and watched as his head hit the hot asphalt, and blood began to drain from his ear. He did not move. She glanced in the rear view to see the cause. The drivers face was sickingly familiar. Red faced and perspiring, He stumbled from the car, and raced towards hers, and quickly jumped in the seat beside her.

‘ You think you can run out on me, bitch’, his voice loud and menacing. Full of anger and violent intent.

The backhanded strike caught her full in the face. His knuckles crunching her nose, which immediately reddened at the impact. Blood flowed for the wound. He reached around the back of her head, grabbed her hair, forcefully and at speed, roughly pushed it forward, and smirked at her head bounced off the hardened steering wheel. Her vision was disappearing, as she fought against unconsciousness. Noting the same red and blue dirty checked shirt, and dirty jeans he had been wearing for the last week. Both badly in need of a wash, as he was. She watched as he took some of them from his shirt pocket, and ingested the white pills. They gave him what he had become accustomed to, welcomed and relished. That sense of instant, intense, physical and mental power and supreme confidence. That feeling of absolute invincibility. That he could take on anything thing, and everyone, with no negative repercussions whatsoever. It did not take long for them to enter his blood stream, and the resultant hyper energy, become evident. He screamed and howled like a demented animal, and hit the interior of the car roof, with his clenched fist, in rapid succession as the rush of the chemicals flooded his brain. His once permanently confirued hair, wild, and damp with perspiration. His once permanently clean shaven face, now rough, and unshaven. This was true living in his mind. Happiness unlimited.

As she fought unconsciousness, her mind reminisced about when they first met. How they were at one time truly, but very briefly in love. They spoke of the children they would raise together. The schools they would send them to. They pondered the future names, of their children to be, both female and male.
She watched through her barely opened eyes, as the Patrolman slowly struggled to force himself from the hot asphalt. His once tidy, neat black uniform, now soiled, torn and shabby. His chin grazed raw. His eyes no longer the powerful, confident eyes of only moments previously. The blazing heat, forcing vapours to raise from the highway, shimmering in the distance.

She sniffled, in an attempt to stem the blood from her nose, as it trickled down her chin. Her head thumping from her interaction with the steering wheel. Through her diminishing vision, she looked at the man she once loved, and tried to remember where it all went so wrong. Was she to blame. Could she have done anything differently. Was she the loving partner, that she always promised herself she would be, when she found ‘the one’.

He had never come to terms with it, and it haunted him forever. He never really spoke about. Perhaps once or twice, in a drunken haze. But then only very briefly. A small reference to the never ending guilt, and self hatred he felt. The remorse, and  regret. The non stop self torture. His mind never affording him much peace. She had listened to his tortured dreams, in his intermittent restless sleep. Where he begged for the opportunity to be given a second chance. To live those moments over. It was at times like that, which were many, he would quickly sit upright in the dishevelled bed, screaming loudly, and his uncovered body perspiring heavily. It was then she held him closely, and soothed and comforted him like a child, until he fell asleep.

He too watched the Patrolman slowly raise himself of the asphalt, and stagger slowly towards the car.

‘How do you like living ‘ his voice soft and gentle, while still watching the approaching Patrolman.

‘ Get out the damn car, bitch’.

The sudden change in his voice from gentleness, reminiscent of how he once was, to the loud, menacing voice that emanated from him now. Like a man possessed by an evil force, was enough to rouse her from near unconsciousness, and she took the opportunity and exited the vehicle. Laying on the hot sticky asphalt, through now barely open eyes, she watched as he revved the car engine, and aimed it at the staggering, approaching Patrol officer. A wild maniacal smile on his once handsome face.

Her consciousness sank into the welcoming darkness.