Bad Attitude.

Bad Attitude
Photo by Eirik Skarstein on Unsplash

She was shabby, and unkempt, and would not have looked out of place on a park bench
Her body language was unattractive, as she shuffled along
She did not look like at any time, that she might burst into song
She was pretty, it was true, and she knew it too
But with an attitude that was unkind and cruel

Now in my book, that just wont do
There are many more women waltzing along, who may be more to my liking
Desperate I ain’t. I can certainly wait, for a right one to come along
I’ve waited long enough, what’s another month or two
I’ll bide my time, and meet a good woman, and make her mine

Any sign of nonsense, an attitude that’s unkind
Good looking as she may be, it’s outside, that she will find herself
I could have made a move on her, and I suspect that maybe she would have liked that too
But I had a brief glimpse into her soul, of her rude and disrespectful attitude
Considered to myself, your out sweetie, that attitude, just wont do

I think I’ll move swiftly along, who knows, she may actually burst into song
Wish you well, but I reckon I’ll save myself, for a woman, with a better way of looking at life
A better way of treating strangers right
If your like this with strangers in a  public place
What would you be like when were alone, face to face

So I’ll leave you be, and wish you well, and swerve a possible relationship
That could have being nothing more than hell
Live to have another day of peace.

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Depression.

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Photo by Jonathan Rados on Unsplash

It ain’t my depression, it belongs to someone else
But it makes me sad to see it, and I feel it, I wish to Christ I could heal it
What can I do. Were I more financially successful, would that ease their pain
Or is their self recrimination and self hate so deep, there’s nothing I can do
I don’t know, I wish I did. I feel bad, I feel sad, there seems nothing I can do
Whats the way out of this mess. How can I cause their happiness to grow
Help them be like they used to be. Upbeat, thriving, with a zest for life
Not the person they are who seems to have given up
Just waiting for the day when they can die
And all that pain they feel, that sense of inadequacy, and failure
Of life  will never work out, will be forever gone
As they rest in there grave, and hopefully move onto a better life
Living ain’t easy for some, who have such high aspirations
Yet the inability to fulfill them, that sense of distress and failure
A recipe for depression and self recrimination and self hate
Sometimes you gotta ask, why is life so……. I don’t even have the bloody words

An Emigrant’s Tale

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Photo Crredit : https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/

I must sleep now and rest my mind, allow it to unwind
What is this at my throat, who is this man
What does he want from me, I don’t understand
No, not my full stash of cash
If you take that, I’ll never be free
Your not getting that. I will fight with all my might
Oh God, please help me. I’m losing this fight

‘There’s no help for you child, you have not done right
You must pay the price for the past you left behind.
Let that be a lesson to you, there’s no escaping karma for any of mankind
Those who steal, defraud and our unkind
Those who murder, who abuse and are cruel
They may think they get away with it, but they are only fools
One way or another, life say’s you gotta play by the rules
Do onto other’s as they do onto you

Your time is up, karma has had its say
You will not live, not even one more day
You will die a death, that will be cruel and unkind
But that because of that attitude’s you have in your mind
You don’t play by the rules, you gotta pay the price
Maybe next time round, try to be nice, honest and true
Treat other’s right, be kind, and decent too
Then maybe life will look fondly on you

I’m leaving my homeland, I gotta be free
I don’t care what other’s think of me. I’ll never return
I’ve stolen from my own family, what do they think of me
Gotta get away from all this poverty and strife, this ain’t no way to be living life
It just has to be better, just wait and see
The West promises riches, I want part of that
Even if I must lie, steal, cheat and defraud my way to the top
That’s something I’m prepared to do
Find myself a rich husband, he can see to my needs and desires
I will see to his too
I can’t wait to get their, live the high life
This is what I desire, this is my right.

 

 

 

 

The Piano.

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Photo by Isaac Ibbott on Unsplash

I am confused, not so much amused. I don’t know what to do
I’m beginning to wish I never bought it
I have to decide, real quick if to give it back
Exchange or refund

It has to get from here to there, most probably by air
But most courier companies here, have review’s that I swear
Would make you wonder, how they stay in business at all
Angry customers, packages gone missing, damaged
Rude uncaring staff, no refunds. All this is no good

To say I’m stressed, and I could be a lot less, is the truth
Then we have the issue of noise
A loud shuffling noise when I play, particularly the quieter pieces
That takes away from the pleasure I may enjoy
But it’s the weighted keys they say, that’s just the way
What of others living here, although they may not here me play
It’s that drumming noise, as I hit the keys, that seems to reverberate throughout the house
and I know how irritating that can be, and would not like to be on the receiving end of that, see

I don’t want to be mean, and cruel. But trying to figure out what to do
How can I dampen the sound, so it aint so  loud
Allow others some peace of mind and tranquility
Blankets, towels, cork tiles under the instrument
To absorb and contain the sound hopefully
Oh man, how can this be
I just want this situation sorted completely, real soon

Empty

Emptiness
Photo by Peter Lewicki on Unsplash

Empty inside, is this what its like to die
A waking death, nothing more needs to be said
Barren life. Ain’t no strife, ain’t nothing going on
Aching for human company, please someone speak to me
I just can’t go on, this barren path no more
It never changes, this. Such a struggle to be alone
Always it seems on my own
Is their something wrong with me, or just a lack of opportunity
To meet with and interact with others
Could always try volunteer work, although most of those people ain’t right in the head
There seems to be a lot misaligned with them as far as I can see
Lover’s in short supply
Who knows, maybe life will seem better tomorrow
No sounds, no voices, my world is silent
People close by, but they may as well be on a different planet
As they seem so remote to me
Sorrow and self indulgent, perhaps so. But that’s what’s happening here
Of course many people are just not worth the bother
With their idiosyncrasies, and character not to my taste
But in moments of weakness, when the silence becomes unbearable
Is when my standards may lower temporarily
To allow such people in

Nothing.

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Photo by Mark Eder on Unsplash

I have nothing to say, nothing on my brain
How am I meant to entertain and engage
Those who are kind enough to view what I write, and at times, voice their appreciation
I aint mad, angry or depressed, no toxic people on my case
Nothing of any duress happening in my life
Bit dead on the romantic scene, I must admit
Would love, love, love to meet a suitable partner
To share this life’s journey with, that’s for sure
But the landscape is incredibly barren whenever I step outside the door
I looked, just looked at a woman a few months back, not a stunner, not a beaut
More out of interest I did briefly stare
She actually physically winced, when my glance caught her eye
Just cause you’re a woman, don’t necessarily mean, I want you, let me be clear
I got standards you know, which you gotta meet, or else you aint coming in the door
I watched a pretty woman coming down the street. Our eyes did meet, and she was okay
But I had watched her briefly from afar, shoulder charge some poor fella out of her way
Good looking as she was, that was so off-putting, I turned away from her enticing glance
That’s one dance that would not end well, so I aint even moving in that direction
So there’s nothing really going on, currently.

Unseen

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Photo by Nicola Tolin on Unsplash

I am an invisible man, I see what I can, and others cannot see me
I run along the sand watching the women, ain’t life sweet
But it’s not complete
They have no idea, what’s going through my mind
Am I thinking rape, do I want them dead
What the hell is wrong with me

Will you come over, she said
I was thinking whats inside this womans head
How can she see me, can she read my mind
Is she perhaps psychotic, mentally unbalanced, and unkind
Most probably an alcoholic, looking at that lived in face

What can I do for you, I enquired
Face as serious as I could be
I can see inside your mind, she said
What your thinking that ain’t right
Come sit with me I’ll give you some insight

Who the hell was this woman sat down in front of me
A gypsy, a fraud, a charlatan or a fool
Out of interest and curiosity, I sat with her
Together we watched the sea
Slowly she spoke first, not giving much thoughts to her words
Then they just flowed so freely

It’ll be the end for you, if you carry out that plan
I’ll be the first to report you, to let others know
I could stop you, she said, but I won’t
Because it will be upon your head, if that’s the route you choose
What fool is this, I asked myself
A stupid gypsy women, foretelling my future

In anger and exasperation I went to move away
From this idiotic woman, out here bloody well ruining my day
I’m off, you fool. You know not what you speak of
Yeah maybe you can read my mind, and ain’t that good for you
Don’t worry, when I go on my killing spree, I won’t be stopping by for you

It’s those others, I will make them pay
They that ignored, and disrespected me
Treated me like a fool. Pushed around and tormented. Called unkind names, laughed at
Every damn day at school. Did they never think
What it’s like to be on the receiving end of that
The high school prom, what a total disaster that was
Alone and laughed at, no woman by my side
That was the beginning of my plans, for many of them to die

Years of suffering, torment, a nightmare going to school
Could they never see, the hurt, the sadness
It was more than cruel
Alone, the blade held by my wrist, and the tears that flowed
The bottle of capsules in front of me, that I wanted to ingest
Empty days, and lonely nights
Little did they know
What of your family, the gypsy woman asked
They that love you so. You carry out those’s deeds
It will be prison, or execution that’s where you’re heading to
It’s the price well worth paying, for what they put me through
Every day, they forced me to go that school
Even though I begged and pleaded, they would not break the rules
This is my parting gift to them, I’m going to do what I’m going to do

Will you give no thought to those that are to die
What of their brothers and sisters, how deeply will they weep
Will you not reconsider, before you take that final step
You don’t really have the right to take a life, that’s God’s prerogative
I considered for a moment, but my mind was set on this path
No amount of cajoling, counselling or forgiveness
Would turn my mind from what I was about to do

There are other ways to take revenge you know
This is what she said to me. But my mind was set
That’s just the way it was gonna be

Away from me, I said to her, and let me be away
I have much to attend to, on this fine and sunny day
Gather up my weapons up, make my way to school
Carry out that killing spree, and for once I will be that cool kid
Other’s will be afraid of
Then when it’s all over, I will take my own life
No more on the receiving end of such cruelty, no more that little fool
Away from me, away from me, I have much work to do.