Are You Fed Up Too ?

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Are you fed up too, wishing to Christ this life would end,
You know, like you do
Are you also dreading waking up tomorrow
For yet another day filled with nothing but sorrow
Are you too envious of those who are terminally ill
Debt, loneliness, and despair, no end in sight
Have you too given up on Jesus ever putting it right
Are you turning to witchcraft and God knows what as a way out
Do you feel guilty for not being grateful for the health that you have
Feeling such sorrow for yourself, self pity to the max
But sometimes when life is shit, it’s just yoself who you think of, and nothing else
Will writing a poem about it, cure it, and make it not so bad
I doubt it, cause its so entrenched in my mind
Is everybody on WordPress messed and traumatized  beyond belief
Cause I would not be surprised if these words get a a lot of likes
Some comfort in that, I suppose, others feeling the same way
But I still gotta face tomorrow, put on my game face
When all I want to do, is have an end to this life
Here’s hoping I don’t wake up tomorrow.

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Life Without a Partner

jordan-steranka-616004-unsplashPhoto by Jordan Steranka on Unsplash

Do you ever question, why are you actually living
What’s it all about, it’s a mystery to me
Lurching from one empty day to another
Is life not expected to be better than this

Potential love partners turning away
Before a fella has a chance to have a say
Impress them with my wit, my brain, my intellect
Look here sweetie, can’t you see what you could be missing

Do I seem that desperate, do I seem that keen
Trust me sweetheart, I ain’t overawed by what you may offer
Would you meet the standards I have set in my mind, for a partner I may entwine with
Are you more than a pretty face, are the characteristics that matter
Actually in place. Kindness, generosity, patience, loyalty, discretion, sanity and more
How about you convince me, you got them by the score
Then maybe I would look you way, try you out for a day
See if we hit it off, see what future we may have together

But what if all you meet, are semi aggressive potential partners
Who show little interest, just an obvious disdain
That one may perhaps be a burden, and I ain’t sayin a pain
But that’s the general thrust of the reaction I am getting
From the people I meet. I wonder what the answer is
To this dilemma I  twist in my mind

I am searching for love, companionship, compatibility and peace
Am I to live my life out, single, lonely, certainly not meek
Am I being punished by some God up above
What’s going on here, why can’t  I find love
I have so much to offer, I’ll see you right
That’s if I can find a suitable partner, I’ll help you through the night

The next day, and life itself, as we move on together, I’ll see you right
What is the answear, I dont know, maybe thats why I’m feeling so low.

Go Now.

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Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash

Another night of drunken fighting
Can we not let some light in
Accusations and castigation’s
That don’t amount to much

Why can’t we be at peace
Why can’t all this fighting and upset cease
Will it be like this for ever more

Do you remember what you said last night
It hurt, I’m wounded, its still rumbling round inside my head
Do you even remember, can you even recall
Beating my bloodied head against the bathroom wall

I hate you now, you damn fool
I ain’t in no mood to forgive and forget
Take your belongings and get out of my head, my life
Go, cease and desist, you’ll be little missed

I curse you, never forgive you, with all of my might.

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Written in response to a writing prompt, from my newly enrolled creative writing group. The prompt being : ‘trying to piece together the night’s events’.

 

 

Gone Forever.

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Photo Credit  https://pixabay.com/en/users/johnhain-352999/

He is gone now, he ain’t coming back
What I wish I said, but it’s no use now, cause he is dead
Would I have said I loved you more, just so that you’d know the score
Would I have argued less, rather than trying to get inside, and upset your head
What’s the point of large regret, for all those words left unsaid
What’s the point of tears to shed, cause now you’re dead, you ain’t no more

You know the big secret now, of what’s beyond the sky
It’s where were all headed, on that day we die
Why did you do it, take your life like that
Why could not be strong like a lion, in the face of such abuse
Can’t you see the pain were in, as you look down from above
I’m praying to Jeasus your sending us, tons and tons of love

Dear brother I love you lots, even though you’re far away
I ache for us to meet again, so I can have my say
Tell you that I love, just the way you are
For in my mind you was ,and forever will be, that bright, everlasting star
I wish you could have been stronger, back here on planet earth
Why could not have been a fighter, a man who stood his ground

Why could you not have tougher, not the weakling you were perceived to be
But then dear brother, you can of course only be, what you can be
Had you been different with your love of poetry, and all the rest
Maybe I would not have considered you one of the very best
Don’t you worry, kiddo I knew just what you were, my intuition put me straight on that
Not that it matters, it was just the way you were
But to me , you will always and forever be that bright, everlasting star.

Bad Attitude.

Bad Attitude
Photo by Eirik Skarstein on Unsplash

She was shabby, and unkempt, and would not have looked out of place on a park bench
Her body language was unattractive, as she shuffled along
She did not look like at any time, that she might burst into song
She was pretty, it was true, and she knew it too
But with an attitude that was unkind and cruel

Now in my book, that just wont do
There are many more women waltzing along, who may be more to my liking
Desperate I ain’t. I can certainly wait, for a right one to come along
I’ve waited long enough, what’s another month or two
I’ll bide my time, and meet a good woman, and make her mine

Any sign of nonsense, an attitude that’s unkind
Good looking as she may be, it’s outside, that she will find herself
I could have made a move on her, and I suspect that maybe she would have liked that too
But I had a brief glimpse into her soul, of her rude and disrespectful attitude
Considered to myself, your out sweetie, that attitude, just wont do

I think I’ll move swiftly along, who knows, she may actually burst into song
Wish you well, but I reckon I’ll save myself, for a woman, with a better way of looking at life
A better way of treating strangers right
If your like this with strangers in a  public place
What would you be like when were alone, face to face

So I’ll leave you be, and wish you well, and swerve a possible relationship
That could have being nothing more than hell
Live to have another day of peace.

Depression.

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Photo by Jonathan Rados on Unsplash

It ain’t my depression, it belongs to someone else
But it makes me sad to see it, and I feel it, I wish to Christ I could heal it
What can I do. Were I more financially successful, would that ease their pain
Or is their self recrimination and self hate so deep, there’s nothing I can do
I don’t know, I wish I did. I feel bad, I feel sad, there seems nothing I can do
Whats the way out of this mess. How can I cause their happiness to grow
Help them be like they used to be. Upbeat, thriving, with a zest for life
Not the person they are who seems to have given up
Just waiting for the day when they can die
And all that pain they feel, that sense of inadequacy, and failure
Of life  will never work out, will be forever gone
As they rest in there grave, and hopefully move onto a better life
Living ain’t easy for some, who have such high aspirations
Yet the inability to fulfill them, that sense of distress and failure
A recipe for depression and self recrimination and self hate
Sometimes you gotta ask, why is life so……. I don’t even have the bloody words

An Emigrant’s Tale

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Photo Crredit : https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/

I must sleep now and rest my mind, allow it to unwind
What is this at my throat, who is this man
What does he want from me, I don’t understand
No, not my full stash of cash
If you take that, I’ll never be free
Your not getting that. I will fight with all my might
Oh God, please help me. I’m losing this fight

‘There’s no help for you child, you have not done right
You must pay the price for the past you left behind.
Let that be a lesson to you, there’s no escaping karma for any of mankind
Those who steal, defraud and our unkind
Those who murder, who abuse and are cruel
They may think they get away with it, but they are only fools
One way or another, life say’s you gotta play by the rules
Do onto other’s as they do onto you

Your time is up, karma has had its say
You will not live, not even one more day
You will die a death, that will be cruel and unkind
But that because of that attitude’s you have in your mind
You don’t play by the rules, you gotta pay the price
Maybe next time round, try to be nice, honest and true
Treat other’s right, be kind, and decent too
Then maybe life will look fondly on you

I’m leaving my homeland, I gotta be free
I don’t care what other’s think of me. I’ll never return
I’ve stolen from my own family, what do they think of me
Gotta get away from all this poverty and strife, this ain’t no way to be living life
It just has to be better, just wait and see
The West promises riches, I want part of that
Even if I must lie, steal, cheat and defraud my way to the top
That’s something I’m prepared to do
Find myself a rich husband, he can see to my needs and desires
I will see to his too
I can’t wait to get their, live the high life
This is what I desire, this is my right.